Wednesday, February 28, 2007
ARGH
WHY ARE WE KEPT WAITING ALL THE TIMES?
why do we have to wait for everything?
wait for the mrt to arrive, wait for friends, wait for things to load in computer, wait for people to finish up their printing ,wait for the printingS for my portfolio
ARGH
o.o suddenly, i hate to wait so much
i wanna lie on my bed as soon as possible
i miss my bed, bolster,da ge da,seal .. and my BLANKLET !
WEE!
how blissful!
hey, but before that, i have to pack up my stuffs and get rdy for 2mr's challenge
hope my cd can play 2mr =)
hope i wun be that careless to LEAVE ANY IMPORTANT stuffs at home
NO NO
i want to pass!
maybe not a pass, i wan a C =)
=)
i wun ask for too much ,as i have really put in my efforts,time and energy in it
no matter what happens, i love my WONG FEI SACK still
=)
pls.. dun give me any problem ..
pls pls pls pls pls ><
i love u =)
10:33 PM
RUNNING THE LAST LAP
wish me luck
=)
i will make it
i will
=)
and gonna SLEEP ALOT after THURS
and .. maybe able to take NEOS on THURS TOO
haha
my presentation is on THURSDAY ,9.50-10AM by the way
AHHH
WATCH ME, haha
=)
12:12 AM
Sunday, February 25, 2007
im happy
just because of one simple sentence
i miss u
=)
9:36 PM
Saturday, February 24, 2007
i read more , and ,of cos, know more..
things like THOSE sex stuffs (i shall be frank), and stuffs on relationships ..
COMMUNICATION is REALLY A MUST ..
how can a english speaker be with a chinese speaker?
when neither is willing to give in ?
hah im being the stubborn one , always ..
always ...talk in my cheena style.. whereas, what about u ?
you are poking fun in me when i speak
no matter in eng or chinese ,isnt it
thus ,i dread to talk .. or even open my mouth
am i rotting soon ?
or am i rotting now alrdy?
i cant stand the reality.. yet im trying to accept it
believe and take it
im trying to absorb all the negative comments given ,and trying/hoping that they can be transformed into something better or presentable ?
haha, sometimes, being positive isnt hard
u just have to laugh and smile ,you just have to go in a GOO GOO GA GA way .. and act foolishly thru-out ..soon, pple wun mind ur nonsensical actions/words
i think that thats very nice.. very nice way to live
just dun care ,and do well in your everything
no wonder babies (well, the same old gdy example) are the .. hmm most carefree ones
and, is it so hard to make someone feel secured?
isnt so conservative of someone ,to want/have the assurance from somebody?
isnt so .. naive of someone ,who think that love is important ?
bread is more impt than love, i know
be realistic, come back may !
dont dream in those fairytales anymore?
=)
5 MORE DAYS TO MY LALA DAYS!
hope so ! =)
6:27 PM
i m wondering .. if ..good words will ever come out from my mouth ?
am i getting more and more sarcastic ?
my mouth cant bear to say good words of anyone ..
haha
they asked me .. what are friends to me?
sadly to say, i replied them with ,"they are human beings, who can have fun with."
full stop . haha sadden reply ,i know
but, some stuffs .. i cant bear to say it out
later on, they questioned agn,"what is a stead to me"
i replied with a "NOTHING"
haha ,nonchalant ? ,wateva..
they told me to share .. but ..
i.. dunoe where to start from ? or im just being too embarassed to say them out?
are they really sincere to hear me out when i am really sincere to share o.o ?
i wun want them to pity me ..
wateva the case, i just dun have the guts
thus, u can probably see me being down,and not talking.. or see me being so carefree and relax
a talker is always a talker,
whereas, a listener will always remain as a listener
i feel like a monk, and friends are like, asking comb from me
as a monk, i wanna break all those rules .. and eat and drink as and when i like ..
but the problem is .. i dun have the guts .. i dun have .. the will power to say out what i m feeling
cos ,then, u will realise/know another me?
(actually, im not referring to all of my frens ,but.. hais maybe ,im afraid of being seen through?)
if .. i can say out how im feeling .. i wouldnt feel so suffocated throughtout these 17 yrs .. isnt it
i always ask myself that qns ..
whats the prob..
i think is becos i dun even understand myself
thus, im not being able to answer those simple qns about myself ?
what a failure ? haha
why didnt i have the guts?
why didnt i have the guts?
why?
what am i fearing ?
rejection ? awkwardness?
sometimes, i feel that online frens are better
sorry =(
5:43 PM
Friday, February 23, 2007
was lost, and i know that i have to get all these done by this week
ALL THESE BY THIS WEEK
no joke okay..
it will be a mission impossible ,if i was to be in a foul mood or some unpleasant stuffs happen..
anyway, i m mentally,physically and emotionally tired this yr
i bet its really a bad year for me .. and i should visit those temples real soon =(
things aint going in a cool way
everything seems to be upside down
do u miss me ?
i dun think so.
why aint we laughing the way we used to be ?
are we one still?
how come i cannot feel u?
12:54 AM
Thursday, February 22, 2007
i have been lazing around these few days ..
practically doing nothing productive
haha wads wrong with me ?
haha i blogged ,as i feel that i should update u guys with sth ,since cny is .. hmm considered OVER
maybe not, as i have not done with the visiting of some of u GIRLS' houses
haha, anyway,i found out that all my angbaos had gone missing when i was going to put all of them under my pillow this morning (as, i slept at 3 or maybe 2 am+) .. i wonder who took it =\ hais~ anyway, i din really have a huge appetite nowadays ..
yawns, so ,im not feeling like having my breakfast O.O as i usually wake up at 12+ or 11 + .. -.- erm, so by the time, its alrd lUNCH TIME .. so ..-.- wateva, hahaha
i am quite worried for my rice sack at this point of time, as lingling has finished drawing her 236/7 frames FOR HER RICESACK ANIMATION .. what about me ? im still at the starting point
omgosh,this is scary..
i have been goo goo ga ga-ing these few days .. without realising that the deadline is .......on the 28 of feb ..?!
am i fated to meet so many @$#$@#$@#$@$2 probs in my life ..
haha ,but wateva it is ,i still have to do it .. so i shldnt grumble so much ,yah =) hee
so, i am thinking to complete it by sunday (i think its a possible mission if i can stay at home and be FOCUSED =) )
focus focus .. i have been rather .. distracted by the things or people around me
esp people's eyes .. they can tell me so many things about their feelings and thoughts for a particular someone or something ..
i think i m getting more and more paranoid as each day goes by -.-
hais~ i have been worrying for this ,thinking about that ..
yet .. no changes is to be made ..
thus, ATNA(all talk no action o.o) is one of my greatest prob
so dreadful -.-
im not good enough for u
im thinking why is there a change in ur attitude
who are u trying to deceive ? u ,me ,or them ?
doubts..
11:57 AM
Sunday, February 18, 2007
now, i feel ,nothing .. maybe nothing can pull us back
ur attitude,and everything .. tell me that u have given me up
haha
yawn~ nothing much happens today.. just pure eating and eating and EATING
ok, so i was so bloated now
=\ haha
thought i was able to see someone(s) today
YET DUE TO THE LACK OF FATE, we have missed the opportunity o.o
hais
tell me ,am i still important in ur heart ?
if so, i will not fear anything, cos nth hurts anymore then
if not, .. i shall ... disappear from ur eyes .. from .. the moment u say "no"
i'll try .. i'll try
not to be weak ..
not to be dependent
not to cry....
gemini pple are such powerful talkers
9:58 PM
PARANOID
YESH I THINK I AM ,
REALLY
why are some human being so fragile ? why cant they .. withstand the stress or rejection faced ?
why ? why am i one of those kind?
haha
when 2 hearts aint one anymore, the hurt is doubled ..
love is such a chiminology ,really
i really cant understand it
i think i have failed this subject..
terribly~
anyway, had my WONDERFUL dinner at a restaurant at jurong
its fully packed ..
saw my hyper cous today
and i tell u, shes REALLY HYPER
i wonder if she has eaten too much of those yellow noodles[huang mian] (well, i used to eat alot of that too !).. and someone told me that those kind of noodles has a substance that can cause hyperness in children\human beings? haha
anyway,i have taken some pictures of her
she looks cute =), yet is really REALLY mischevious
and she loves to stick her tongue out and frown at me!
MOREOVER, coincidentally, shes a TAURUS too ! and shes 5 yrs old this year !
haha cutie
i find that her eyes look like somebody ;)
i see ur shadow everywhere
those gd old memories will always flash back in my mind, uncontrollably
i have lost myself..
pull me back ,by holding me tight ,and dun ever let me go
HAPPY CNY ,anyway
1:07 AM
Saturday, February 17, 2007
yeah, some people are born with a beautiful face ..
they should and will be admired by millions and billions human beings
and does that give them a chance ,or the right to disgrace someone ,who is plain-looking ?
well ,so ,should all the ugly people die off ,so that they wun hurt the eyes of those beauties ?
wateva .. i dunoe
im just upset ,upset with some pple
well, their remarks shouldnt hurt me so much ..
they wun hurt that much ,when the one u love is to stand beside u
somethings cant be told ..*coughs coughs*
maybe, i did a very wrong choice in the beginning
i laughed at myself, for being so foolish to believe that love involves 2 people only
fairytales really dont exist in this world
my memory is failing .. and i dun care
in fact ,i am loving it, and hating it at the same time
i cant forget somethings i wish to forget
i ,feel like im suffocated
words just stuck in my mouth
i no longer want to reach out for sth/someone that i wan ..
im even feeling too weak to fight for myself
i wanna let things be
i knew all these will come true one day
my predictions come true
right in front of my eyes and ears
11:55 AM
Friday, February 16, 2007
one word to summarize these few days
SINFUL
wahaha
it's really stressful to see the others working SO HARD for the studio project, yet im still slacking
not exactly slacking ,but my progress is really pathetic
5:06 PM
Thursday, February 15, 2007
many things tied me down
and i think im tying somebody down ,too
im frustrated really
words are really very powerful ..
it's even more powerful when those words are shooting out from the mouth of a particular someone
now, some things can no longer be expressed with words anymore
FRUSTRATION
well ,thats one of the reasons of having a haircut today
and i have felt really lighter in many ways
haha physicallly ,and perhaps emotionally ? haha
not sure "emotionally" is a right word to use .. but yeah ..
i really feel like ,i have shortened all my fan niao si ..
joyce said that i look nerdy with this new hairstyle ,while opf said its nice as its a so called make over for my HAIR ! hahah she nv see me in this hairstyle before .. so its sth for me to be excited about also ..
no more .. no more eye contact
when u dun even dare to look into my eyes, does it mean something ?
i seriously think theres sth wrong
seriously
anyway, quite like my hairstyle =)
its new ,afterall =)
10:51 PM
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
reflection . .
what can i say still ?
when theres no fate between us , theres .. no fate larh -.-
what else can be said still -.-?
maybe ,all these will end off silently ..
=).. i smile ..
cos i noe ,
i am, perhaps, freed from u
you shld be feeling glad for me too
i guess
RICE SACK IS MY LIFE NOW!
wth -.- hah
12:59 PM
Monday, February 12, 2007
screwed
1:21 PM
Saturday, February 10, 2007
sometimes, i realise , i really have very few nice pictures that i can play with lala leh =( hais...
wad can somebody or a rice sack do at the pedestrain crossing/construction sites ?
argh, sickening studio project is here again .. but it will be much much more interesting this time round =)
jiayou =) hah
Labels: testing one 2 THREE
11:44 PM
this blogger is so weird .. i thought i can never blog anymore ..
lala so ..
i think i may have pproblems logging in , in the near future
have been getting more naggy .. aint i ?
hah
im repeated
=.=
yawns,
make my day
12:28 AM
Friday, February 09, 2007
saw one really enlightening ,or i should say meaningful + logical sentence in somebody's blog ,
saying..
"You can’t just find time for each other. You have to make time.”
how true, isnt it ?
sometimes, it just only depend on whether u are willing to sacrifice part of ur day for that someone special =)
hazel oh peck fong ,you are really someone whom everyone should treasure =)
haha thanks for sharing ur optimistic thinkings =)
those words + random things u do make my day haah
thanks alot ! =) haha .. now, i see some hope in my life, though nth has changed much =\ HAHA =) .. ur name is up HERE ! hahaha
anyway, i wanna to post up some 'picgies' (o.o),that were taken yesterday ..
well, its a nice day ,drawing at woodlands library ,without feeling stressful and frustrated =)
u noe, that 5 pages of foreshortening drawings can actually drive me crazy + drain lots of my energy .. =) luckily ,i have a companion - TADA! lingling ,lol .. u will see her jiao bin face(s) later on =)
her jiao bin-ing starts from here~~
erm , i have a prob here .. i cant load pictures beyond this point
2:13 AM
Thursday, February 08, 2007
there we go ... US ! hahaha
why cant i load these 2 pictures in that previous post -.- ARGH !
wateva hahh.. well these 2 pictures are taken ,after all the drawings are DONE !
so happy happy happy ...
CAREFREEEE ~~ lalalalala
not really ,ahah
thats all, how i wish i can go out with her more often .. cos ..
we are parting soon ..
real soon ?
eternity ? what a joke .
=)
10:47 PM
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
im lost again .. ok AGAIN haah
-.- hais .. im thinking whether to waste one year in digital media design at nyp ,
meaning .. im thinking whether to change my course and my institue ..
hais ,although i find this course interesting ,it just seems to be .. unsuitable for me ..
well, u will understand when u see my grades for thie course ..
things have been pretty depressing for me ,ever since year 2007 has started .. i have no idea of what is happening or changing -.-
everything is just so different from what i think
just tell me ,
how can one be confident, when everything just falls apart for one ?
haa i know everyone has their own problem =\
*trembles*
10:24 PM
Monday, February 05, 2007
why cant things or life be simple ?
to be frank, im really really .. ok u can say im jealous of joyce's life ..
she;s like ,telling me about this girl today ,and talking about another girl/boy another day ..
its like .. everyday is a very HAPPENING day for her
-.- i feel so frustrated
sometimes, i really feel like isolating myself from the world..
meaning ,nobody knows me ..
cos moments of awkwardness and embarrassment wun exist
i wun feel uncomfortable ..i just, hate silence when friends are around (no wonder, a mp3 is considered as a neccessity =\)
there will be just PEACE and cold air (meaning ,lonliness, ok i have prob spelling it)
and nothingness .. whoa that sounds COOL
and oh .. and this means that i will have NO LIFE at all ..!
aint that the perfect life that an artist should have ?
haha maybe thats my very wrong perceptions of artists ..
u know wad , im lost at words ..
i have tons of stuffs that are kept in my heart ,yet, i just couldnt BLEAH all of them out
its just so LALA suffering ..
dun ask me whats my problem .. cos i wun know how to tell .. or i wun know where to start from .. or ....my problem is something that u cant take it , or something u think that is stupid ..
i dun wan to face rejections ..
btw ,i was pissed off by those selfish human beings ,whereby they will leave u in the lurch when u r in trouble .. What's worse is ,they are watching how you are falling ,and laughing at you at the meantime .. -.-
who are they ? Are they really my friends? sometimes ,i really wonder .. if my friends are treating me as their stepping stones in their lives ..
anyway, i shld just heck .. cos at least ,i know ,i have friends ,whom treasure me still (i hope im right) ..
=\ thanks ,to those ,who have been visiting and tagging =)
Your efforts are appreciated =)
thanks for letting me know that i have u all =)
haha
THANKYOU =)
9:57 PM
Friday, February 02, 2007
SOMETIMES, SACRIFICE HAS TO BE MADE ..
if thats the case, i rather be sacrificed ! =)
*wei da, blinks blinks*
haha fine ,im trying to be .. erhum .. lame here
o.o
hais .. i feel like HAIS-ING so much ..
i feel like im depleting my lifespan real fast ,
1) bathing after 11pm
2) not having proper sleep
3) gorging myself with unhealthy junks
4) not excersing (now , ihaveaproblemtospellexceriseo.o i wonder if its correct)
5) depression
haha .. now, i feel like a .. doll , dangling in the middle of nowhere ..
waiting, hoping someone can pick me up and save me .. haha
whenever i see ur face, all those painful memories will just rush to my mind ..
uncontrollably, the tears will roll down the cheeks ..
strangely , the hurt cant be felt anymore ..
perhaps , the heart has went numb ,after those numerous stabs
it is d e a d
maybe ,FATE is what we are lacking
somehow, i feel/see stress in you
the reality is intimidating
im intimidated,coward or wadsoeva u name
haha
yanling , you are my buddy buddy BUDDY haha
i have learnt what u have been practiced all along - heckcare-ness
i really ,truely hope that yanling isnt mad with me, for being LATE at ALL times ..
i thank you for ur 'evergreen' forgiveness =) ahah
THANKYOU so much =)arigato neh~ thankyou for being so concern for me ..
dun puke, im telling u the truth .. though i think u wun pass by this blog ,cos u are just too lazy to type in my blog add, and check my blog out
however, nevertheless , thankyou my friend ..
u have been my support in school for the past few MONTHS
THANKYOU =) ,for making me laugh too
lets WORK HARD TOGETHER =)
10:59 PM
BORING NA !
NA NA eh o.o !!
yet, FORTUNATELY ,i can sleep until 8am 2mr +)
more than 5 hours of sleep ..
i am considered as fortunate , really
it's just so nice to be hugged =) lala
i wonder how will my seal feel every night =)
HEE
oh, i bought something for myself today - A CLIPBOARD! =)
so happy o.o !
12:11 AM
Thursday, February 01, 2007
EXPECTED,
AFFECTED
i was quite depressed , that someone can actually regard me as boy ..
as in, someone thinks that im man .. even 'man-er' than joyce ..
HA ok larh .. its really depressing lorh .. if this is really so, the only way is to change myself ..
maybe im that er xin toad, WHICH asks for the swan meat HAHA
im just a weak toad, which cant overcome the stress + rejection that i have been facing
or is the stress or rejection too huge for me to cope with =\
i realise that its rather hard to change one's style in such a short period of time (before new yr) ,whereby time and money is insufficient ..Moreover, this has to do with some self-reflections ..i always think that its a chore to live on this world =X opps HAH ..cos there are far too many things that we have or can handle with ..
sometimes i really dun wish to go for the better =X .. cos sometimes, the higher u climb, the harder u fall .. i dont want to have a taste of the bad fall .. However, i am just so jealous and envied when the others are improving ,while im still stuck at the same ,old spot ..
somtimes, i really cannnot stop myself from being so fickle-minded and greedy, for not being able to choose wad i really want ..Thus, most of my time is wasted, without noticing..
i am being nagged at ,for the tendency to procrastinate ONCE AGAIN .for the past 2/3 weeks?..erm moreover, i have been slping 'outside'(meaning, my living room) for quite a number of days in a week,so i was like lying on the sofa and sleep for 1 or 2 hours and woke up again ,just to continue doing (otherwise i wun be able to finish the assignment[s]) so yah .. this continues .. until yesterday ? i hope i wun have to stay up late tonight .. =\
seems that all my fellow friends are busy with their lives ...
nobody ,nothing is here =\
la la LA o.o haiyer
*puffy eyes*
love can be so powerful
1:42 PM