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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
i claim that EVERYONE ( or nobody ) can understand me .. on the other hand , someone claimed that i m NOT understanding her ,even for a tiny,weeny bit .. i feel redundant at times .. i just cant figure out .. why some of my friends can just make me feel ever so relax when im with them ,while SOME just simply give me stress, inferiority and etc .. i always thought friends are people, who are always there for you to lend you a listening ear ..,yet somehow i will feel otherwise sometimes -.- im not blaming or complaining about my friends here .. just that .. i dunoe why .. i just wanna jot it down.. Perhaps ,its due to the low self esteem 0.o .. i feel my world is rather revolved around my friends, instead of my family .. and i have regretted it .. One of my poly friends is a kind of homey person .. She loves to stay at home and spend her time with her family .. i wish i can be like her.. haha to be frank, i find myself stupid to be a doormat everytime .. doormat, as in being the messenger 0.o (help people to sms their opinions, instead of them doing it themselves), a maid ?(or even a slave?!) , being a i-need-to-be-there person o.0 .. am i ever that important in all of my friends' heart .. sometimes, i really wonder how important i am, to them?? am i just someone ,whom they can ask out ,so to fulfil that "the more the merrier" saying ~? gosh if that's really the case .. i will be lost for words.. so if that's really the true meaning of "friends" .. i rather .. not to have EVEN ONE .. for all i care .. i rather be a loner , be someone, whom will be forgotten and unnoticed by everybody soon not or later .. =) once again i will say , if you care ,things may not turn out to be like this .. that girl was suffering from a real sick, unwanted "illness" ...... something i MUST SAY.. i love my family - parents ,ma-ma~ and brother .. they love me and i love them .... seriously!!!! treat me the way you want me to treat you =)
9:38 PM
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